Module 1: Increasing Awareness
unit 2
the power of tuning inPurpose: Recognizing there are no "positive" or "negative" emotions per se.
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the power of tuning inPurpose: Recognizing there are no "positive" or "negative" emotions per se.
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There are SO many emotions we experience as parents, sometimes we just want to push those away and “get on with the job.” Sometimes we do not recognize them or we do not know how to deal with them.
Sometimes, there is a misperception that we should not succumb to our own emotions or those of our children. To consider emotions irrelevant and/or obstructive, is analogous to parenting with one side of our brain. Emotional intelligence is being able to blend our emotions with rational thinking to parent in a wholehearted way and with our whole brain. |
Emotions are part of the “package” of life. When we drop our kids at school, what emotional state are we sending them with? What happens if we start seeing emotions as neutral, without judgment? When feelings arise: we can just notice, validate, and acknowledge them — we don’t need to agree, we just need to be curious.
In this video Marilynn Jorgensen, Coach and Master Trainer, explains that if we change the way we approach emotions, and use them as data, we can learn from them without getting caught up in the feelings: |
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module 1, unit 2FEELINGS MATTERFeelings matter, a lot. Your feelings matter, and your child’s feelings matter. EQ helps us be smarter about feelings. This is about raising our children in an emotionally balanced, feeling-centered environment, using tools, knowledge, and language that have been shown to be successful parenting techniques.
We, as parents, can make huge, lasting changes in our child’s life by learning and mastering EQ. These simple, yet powerful, lessons can affect some of the core beliefs, attitudes and emotional skills of our children, which have been shown to contribute significantly to happiness, purpose, and success in life. Take a look at this video from Eldon Pascoe, a parent, educator, and leader at the British Council. As Eldon explains, we often react without meaning to. The key to EQ is taking a step back to consider: What’s the best way to handle this? |
Take a look at this video from Eldon Pascoe, a parent, educator, and leader at the British Council. As Eldon explains, we often react without meaning to. The key to EQ is taking a step back to consider: What’s the best way to handle this?
Parenting is an emotional adventure. We have many (many!) opportunities to practice “being smarter with feelings.” This will make parenting more peaceful, more fulfilling — and using our emotional intelligence is key for us to influence our children in more positive ways. It all starts with us.
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module 1, unit 2EQ TOOLKIT: LABELING EMOTIONS1. Feeling Faces
On a clean white board, draw an outline of a face. Encourage your child(ren) to add mouth and eyes to show how they feel in that moment. Younger children may not have the vocabulary to express their emotions, so drawing their emotions can be a good start. Then you can help them put a name to the feeling or emotion and together expand understanding and emotional literacy. 2. Emotional Vocabulary Create a family list to make a vocabulary of emotions. Together with your child(ren), find the time to write down names of emotions that you all experience. You can elect the most popular ones in your family (and be sure to laugh about the silliest emotions)! 3. Find the Focus Every emotion focuses attention and motivates; if we can understand where the emotion is trying focusing us, we can understand the feeling more clearly. For example, anger focuses attention on an obstacle and motivates us to break through. Ask your child(ren): what/who are you thinking of? Is this blocking you? From what? Can we do it in another way? |
PRACTICE WITH YOUR FAMILYCALENDAR
Create a family Emotions Calendar with all the emotions (names or drawings) shared during the week (or month). You could select one per each month and celebrate it: “April was the month of anticipation! A little brother/sister was born.” Remember there are not negative or positive emotions. Recognizing them, understanding their role and using them as information are the best ways to improve connections among your family members. To help identify feelings for the calendar, consider using Emotion feeling cards (such as these by Marilynn Jorgensen and Jaclyn Henretig) to coach kids to name feelings. Use a question and explanation: for example, “Are you feeling sad? We often feel sad when we lose something we care about.” MAP In this article, Dr. Maurice Elias, one of the founders of the social emotional learning movement, suggests a school walking tour with attention toward feelings in each area of the building. Can you imagine the power of doing this activity in your own home? Take your family on a walking tour, stopping to discuss activities and feelings that are associated with each room and space. What are the feelings that arise in different rooms, at different times of day? Ask your family, how could the feelings be more harmonious or more peaceful in these spaces? |
Marilynn here discusses how to deal with the anger we sometimes feel as parents. A lot of parents have trouble with anger — but anger just means there’s something not going the way we, or the child, wants it to go. There’s power in anger. Acknowledgement and acceptance of feelings allows us to explore them further. We develop our own Emotional Literacy so we can help our children do the same.
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